Solicitations from Senator Lautenberg

It's been a month since I played pen-pal with Senator Frank Lautenberg, and guess who just called me?

No - Zach did.

Zach works out of the Senator's Trenton office, and he sent many happy returns from Frank; specifically, he happily returned me to Senator Diane Allen, and the Burlington County Board of Chosen Freeholders. It was explained to me that the Senator doesn't really actually involve himself with the state of the state so much. Not as such.

He's more of a hands-off kind of guy.

I was informed, however, that if at any time I needed to call his office for help, don't hesitate. I asked Zach what specific kind of help I can call the Senator for.

He hesitated. That was a bit of a stumper.

It ends up, I can call Zach to find out who else I can call that isn't Frank Lautenberg, preferably Diane Allen. This is a great comfort to me; of all the folks I did contact, Diane Allen is the only one who didn't bother to check my pulse. Now I can call his Zach to get her Zach.

Clearly, progress is being made.

And now, a word from our sponsor...

"A Writer writes. Always." I don't often take job advice from Billy Crystal, especially after The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, but lately I've been a lot less particular about career guidance. And, as advice goes, it matches the best I've gotten from professional councilors. No one really knows what works in today's economy - be passive, be aggressive, be passive-aggressive... bring whatever talents you may have to bear.

And a writer writes.

Although my past life involved much more than pushing words around, it is becoming more and more undeniable that communication with a larger audience is vital to connecting with some form of employment. And that, gentle reader, is why I have lured you here.

Hi there.

I'll try to keep you entertained here - no one wants to lose an audience - and I ask you to notice I have not tried to monetize this site in any way. But the purpose of the site is self explanatory, and I'm asking for your assistance.

A quick look at my resume will give you an idea of the scope of my abilities; if you'd rather not, however, I'd be glad to give you a quick run-down right here. Ten years of Internet publishing experience, including journalism, column work, blogging, navigation design, vertical site construction, content management systems, search engine optimization, public speaking, online editing, file transfer protocol, HTML, Adobe Create Suite, Microsoft Office, Joomla!, video editing... and so much more.

I should also point out that I am fully capable of anything beneath those lofty qualifications. To those who might think I may be "overqualified" for a lesser position, I would like to suggest that I am even more overqualified for park bench naps and dumpster diving. My optimal employment in this economy involves an income sufficient to keep a roof over my head - and, preferably, Showtime.  

Dexter is coming up, after all.

From Philadelphia to Vineland, from Glassboro to New Brunswick - I'm out here, I'm available, and I'm beyond eager to find a steady source of cutter to keep me solvent. Subscribe me, tweet me, see me, feel me, touch me, heal me. Tell your friends, relatives, Human Resource people and neighbors about the madman with the blog. Become part of my network - me and my career councilor will thank you.

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Now, back to your regular chatter.