Going Mobile

There comes a point when the job search becomes Kafkaesque; with only thirty days remaining until I join the ranks of the homeless, my friends at New Jersey's "One Stop" Employment Center are begging me to spend no more than two hours online, searching for employment. Instead, I'm told, I should go to McDonald's and pester random customers who may know someone who may have a friend - who has a friend - that might know of a job.

That is a true statement.

This is the professional opinion of a job search expert.

This is what the economy has come to.

As to McDonald's, I've had people flip me off there for making them wait as the server nuked my Fillet O' Fish; not only doesn't this seem like sound marketing, I'm pretty sure it's solicitation, and illegal. Far be it from me, however...  I promised to go to and get some business cards printed.

And so I did.

It was at check-out, however, that this absurd exercise took on new life. Why pester pedestrians one at a time, when I can accost hundreds of commuters on the highway?  If, in fact, the economy has turned a job search to mass marketing, a broadsheet serves better than a business card. And so, my car is now a traveling billboard.

To my new, mobile readers, welcome to the New American Economy. Welcome to my world. To the left, you'll find my resume - if you have a friend who has a friend that can use the talents of a 10-year veteran of Internet publishing, I'd appreciate it if you'd send them my way. And, if you don't, I invite you to stay for the ride. Life is about to get interesting, and I invite you to follow the adventures of the most literate bum you know.

That would be me.

Unemployment - outside of politics

I have avoided - and will continue to avoid - the political aspects of long-term unemployment in here; I consider the situation... darkly humorous.

There are those who believe that a Tier V addition to unemployment is unnecessary, but have nothing to offer citizens that exhaust their benefits. Perhaps they assume that people will pop, like balloons, after 99 weeks and disappear from the face of the planet. Unfortunately, this isn't the case - they'll hang around.

They'll hang around the streets, around the parks, around the temperature-controlled shopping malls. They'll hang around the convenience stores in the suburbs, begging for change - a guy has to eat.

Despite the charm of living under the open sky and the healthy breeze of bracing autumn  mornings, your average ex-employee may find life on the road a jarring, demoralizing turn. Under the circumstances, I would think that alcohol may become a welcome daily distraction. People may decide that, with their social contract officially broken with society, a little bit of petty thievery and misdemeanor behavior would not be inappropriate to survive.

The only socially acceptable alternative to unemployment is employment - and employment that allows you to keep fed with a roof over your head is scarce to extinct. The only alternative is the open road; Burlington County NJ has no plans - nor any plans in the offing - for the feeding and housing of a burgeoning population of tramps.

Ignore the problem, and it will go away. Except it won't.

To be frank - and arrogant - I will not go gently into that good night. I have the aspect and education to give any existing part-time job a run for its money, and if they exist, I'll be taking two of them. And, under the circumstances, if that leads to one of my other hobo brethren littering the genteel streets of my hometown, so be it. Moorestown cops will transport their bums to the outskirts of Delran, Delran cops will transport theirs to Cinnaminson, and Cinnaminson will transport them back to Moorestown. The hobo-go-round will rotate the faces, but not change the numbers.

As I've stated earlier, when the genie is loosed from the bottle, it won't go away easily; a solid work history, a good credit score and glowing references are all necessary to find an apartment. The unhomed are unqualified for rehousing, even if they find employment. So, lacking a public housing alternative, when they hit the street, they're there for the long term.

Is this a "Dire Prediction," a "Crackpot Rant," or simple economics? Google news - "Tent Cities." Coming to your hometown soon.